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The split camp: it's equal, we should both pay, gender is irrelevant, financial equality applies here too. The traditional camp: the man asked, the man pays, it's not about oppression it's about the signal he's sending. The pragmatic camp: whoe...

Serious question. Hear me out. The average Nigerian graduate earns ₦80,000–₦150,000/month in a formal job. Rent in Lagos alone can eat 50-70% of that. NEPA, transport, food, data — by the 15th you are calculating. Meanwhile I see people running...

Three months ago I finished a report that took me two weeks. My line manager was on leave. I handed it to a senior colleague to pass along. He presented it as a collaborative effort — "we worked on this together" — in front of the MD. The MD prais...

My mother cried when I ended that engagement. Not because she thought he was a good man — she had always been quiet about him, which was her way of screaming. She cried because she was afraid for me. Thirty-one and unmarried in Nigeria is its own kin...

Early in my career as a therapist, I prided myself on structure. I had my questions ready, my frameworks organized, my session plans clear. I believed progress came from direction — from guiding conversations toward measurable breakthroughs. One a...

Nobody knew because I was still showing up. I was still going to work, still hitting deadlines, still laughing at the right moments. From the outside I was fine — better than fine, actually. People around me said I seemed focused. Inside I was ...

There was a season in my life when I was overwhelmed with my own ambitions. I was building, chasing, planning, trying to prove myself. In the middle of all that, a close friend was quietly struggling. They would call sometimes, not to ask for anythin...

I want real answers, not moral high ground. Not the movies version. The real version: you have four years invested, a shared apartment, a cat, a life. One night they made a mistake they have confessed to and are visibly destroyed by. No second con...

In 2021 I had a good job, a small savings, and a very large ego about what I understood about business. A friend pitched me a cold storage distribution play. The numbers looked beautiful on paper. I put in ₦2.3 million. My entire savings plus a lo...

There was a time when I noticed a problem developing — whether in a team project or a personal situation — but I chose to stay quiet to avoid conflict. Eventually, the issue grew bigger and could have been resolved much earlier if I had voiced my tho...

One of my biggest regrets was waiting too long to believe in myself. There were moments in my life when I doubted my abilities and delayed taking opportunities because I felt I wasn’t ready. I allowed fear of failure and overthinking to hold me back....

On Sundays I am in the front row. I lead the prayer team. People call me a spiritual role model. Monday through Saturday I am a completely different person. Drinking, lying, sleeping with someone I know I should not be sleeping with. Making decisi...

Omo this one thing broke me like crazy

I was with Kunle for three years. Three years of Sundays at his mother's house, of splitting suya on third mainland bridge, of believing I had found the one. I found out on a Tuesday. His phone buzzed while he was in the shower and I glanced at it...

What are the things to do in a relationship to make it fun