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We have a tendency to either romanticize the past or regret it entirely. Reality is usually more complicated.
Give me one of each.
The one you would change: be specific. Not "I wish I had saved more money." Tell me the actual decision β the fork in...
I've been working in tech for 5 years now, and I'm feeling completely burned out. I used to love what I do, but lately, I dread Monday mornings.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you handle it? Did you switch careers, take a break, or find...
She is my friend. Has been for twelve years. I love her.
But her husband is a man I despised, and watching her marry him felt like watching something happen that I could not stop and should not have had to witness.
So I called two days before t...
Year one: I sold phone accessories from my room in Surulere. My "office" was a WhatsApp status update and a Jiji listing. Profit: β¦340,000. I reinvested all of it.
Year two: I rented a shared space in a tech mall, hired one assistant, moved to Ins...
I want real answers, not moral high ground.
Not the movies version. The real version: you have four years invested, a shared apartment, a cat, a life. One night they made a mistake they have confessed to and are visibly destroyed by. No second con...
No affairs. No secret conversations. Nothing suspicious β just normal boring messages from normal boring people.
I put the phone down and I felt two things simultaneously: relief and absolute shame.
I went through their phone because of a feeli...
Lagos to Kano. Three days. Five buses. One backpack. No plan beyond curiosity.
I was running from a breakup and decided the best medicine was movement. I was wrong β you cannot outrun yourself β but the journey gave me something else entirely.
Pers...
In 2021 I had a good job, a small savings, and a very large ego about what I understood about business.
A friend pitched me a cold storage distribution play. The numbers looked beautiful on paper. I put in β¦2.3 million. My entire savings plus a lo...
Not a secret about cheating. I mean other secrets.
Like not telling your partner about an old debt you're managing. Or about a health scare you don't want them to worry about. Or about how you really feel about their family. Or about a mistake you...
I am 34. I have built a career I love. I have habits, a lifestyle, opinions. I know who I am.
Every relationship I have been in recently, the man eventually wants me to be... less. Less ambitious, less vocal, less busy, less myself.
And I keep ...
The challenge started because I lost a bet. My friend Tunde said I could not go one week without checking Instagram. I said I could do 30 days. We bet N10,000.
Day one was physical. I kept picking up my phone and opening a blank space where Instagra...
Three months into therapy I had a week so good I thought I was done. Genuinely done. The heavy thing I had been carrying felt lighter. I was sleeping. I was present. I thought: I fixed it.
Two weeks later I fell apart in a supermarket because they...
The promotion came on a Friday. My team celebrated. My boss shook my hand. I got home at 11pm carrying champagne and found a note on the kitchen table.
"I hope the job makes you as happy as you think it will. I deserve someone who actually shows up....
January 1st, I made a promise: write one page every single day for a year. Not publish. Not perform. Just write.
The first month was easy. I had backlogs of ideas stored up like clothes in an overfilled wardrobe.
Month two: I ran out of the obvious...
He died in November. I flew home. I did everything that needed to be done β arrangements, family coordination, receiving visitors, catering, the church service.
At the burial I smiled and accepted condolences and said the right things and held my ...
The month I quit, three people in my family stopped speaking to me. My father called it irresponsibility. My older sister said I was wasting a "good position." A colleague told me I would be back in six months with my tail between my legs.
I had b...
I ask because I genuinely do not know the answer anymore.
We broke up seven months ago. On paper everything is fine β I moved on, I go out, I laugh, I even went on a few dates. But at 2am when everywhere is quiet, I still miss him. Not the relatio...
I did not choose this. I want to be very clear about that.
It started two years ago. Just an awareness. He said something kind to me during a hard period and something shifted. I tried to unshift it. I cannot.
I have not acted on it. I will not...
It all starts with the mind β¦ the mind controls us, what we think, how we thinkβ¦. It is responsible for how we behave. It normally controls our actionsβ¦. Regardless of the subject β¦. It is very powerful and can carry us into other realms, not necessa...
Serious question. Hear me out.
The average Nigerian graduate earns β¦80,000ββ¦150,000/month in a formal job. Rent in Lagos alone can eat 50-70% of that. NEPA, transport, food, data β by the 15th you are calculating.
Meanwhile I see people running...
His name is David. He is a mechanic in Surulere. He fixes cars all day, comes home smelling like engine oil, and laughs too loudly at his own jokes.
My parents took one look at him and delivered their verdict: "That man is beneath you."
I have a Ma...
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While growing up, we were told that when you lose a tooth, you should throw it on the roof of the house so that a stronger and better tooth will grow.
But thinking about it nowβ¦ that tradition is funny sha π
What about the people whose teeth di...
Nobody knew because I was still showing up.
I was still going to work, still hitting deadlines, still laughing at the right moments. From the outside I was fine β better than fine, actually. People around me said I seemed focused.
Inside I was ...
I have failed fifteen job interviews. I kept a list β dates, companies, the exact feedback they gave. "Not the right culture fit." "We went with a stronger candidate." The rejection always stung.
Interview number sixteen was at a startup in Victoria...
One of my biggest regrets was waiting too long to believe in myself. There were moments in my life when I doubted my abilities and delayed taking opportunities because I felt I wasnβt ready. I allowed fear of failure and overthinking to hold me back....
The cruel irony of burnout is that the symptom and the supposed cure are in direct conflict.
You are burned out. You need to rest. But resting makes you feel like you are losing ground, being outpaced, failing the ambition you built your identity ...
The office photos were a co-working space I paid β¦5,000 per day for. The "team meeting" picture had three friends I bribed with suya. The revenue screenshots were edited in Canva.
I was broke. The business had stalled. But on Instagram I was thriv...
On Sundays I am in the front row. I lead the prayer team. People call me a spiritual role model.
Monday through Saturday I am a completely different person. Drinking, lying, sleeping with someone I know I should not be sleeping with. Making decisi...
We are raised to be strong. Not just strong β unbreakable. Carrying everything without complaint is not just culturally expected; it is framed as virtue. The strong woman. The one who manages. The one who does not burden others.
So when the anxiet...
The average Nigerian wedding in 2025 costs between β¦3 million and β¦15 million. Families go into debt. Couples borrow money they spend years repaying. The one-day event becomes a financial anchor on a marriage before it even begins.
And when you su...
You: I keep thinking about something, and I need to tell youβ¦
Her: Tell meβ¦
You: I canβt stop picturing youβlaid out, needy, waiting for me. Your body already warm, skin tingling, heart racing because you know whatβs coming.
I start slow. My...
Every Christmas I go home in a rented car. I wear clothes I bought on Jumia but describe them differently. I talk about "the office" and "my team" in ways that are technically true but deeply misleading.
My mother is proud of me. She tells everyon...
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Friendships ending is one of the most confusing grief experiences I know β because unlike romantic relationships, there is rarely a clear moment. No breakup conversation. No defined ending. Just a slow cooling.
And then you realise: you have not spo...
There was a season in my life when I was overwhelmed with my own ambitions. I was building, chasing, planning, trying to prove myself. In the middle of all that, a close friend was quietly struggling. They would call sometimes, not to ask for anythin...
You realize it when the effort only flows in one direction.
Youβre always the one calling, checking, understanding, forgivingβ¦ while they simply receive.
You realize it when they only show up when they need something β attention, money, comfort, or...
Be honest. Remove the romance script.
You have a person who ticks every practical box: financially stable, respectful, stable family, marriage-minded. They will not embarrass you. They will provide. You will be comfortable.
But the spark is not...